There is real fear behind criticism. I’m assuming since you’re reading this post that you have been affected by other people’s opinions, judgment, and “advice” before. Yes? Same. This post will address how to ignore people’s opinions and tune into your true self.
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This past Saturday evening, I lit some candles around my apartment so it was the only source of light, made a hot cup of chamomile tea (doused with honey), and meditated for 30 minutes (I’m no pro but I sat down and did it). While I was working on bettering myself, I heard people around the complex running about, getting their Ubers to the bars, and having friends over. Other 26-year-olds would be spending their Saturday night partying it uuuup while I was over here clearing my conscious getting my Zen on.
The point of my little story is that I’ve learned to care so little about what other people think that I’m able to connect with my truest self and learn how to be a better version of myself. I want to share how to ignore other people’s negative opinions so that you can find freedom and joy in having control over your own life.
How to Ignore People’s Opinions: 3 Steps
1. Self-Analysis
The best way to know thyself is by analyzing everything about thyself.
Self-analysis is also one of the most difficult tasks to endure because you are getting into the nitty gritty corners of yourself that you never dared go before. I mean, like, the pits, under the toenails, between the back of your ear type corners but on the inside.
Think of the most recent incident where you soaked in others’ negative opinions and couldn’t shake the feeling. Here is a list of questions that you will have to be brutally honest with yourself to answer.
- Do I fear their judgment?
- Why am I hurt by their words?
- Does this relationship with so and so make me a better person?
- Am I seeking their opinion because I don’t know how to have my own?
- Am I people-pleasing by not standing up for my own beliefs?
Reflect.
The majority of people permit relatives, friends, and the public at large to so influence them that they cannot live thier own lives because they fear criticism.
Napoleon Hill
2. Ask: Does It Align With My Goals?
First, do you know what your goals are? Have you made any valuable ones in the past week?
I want you to sit down and close your eyes. Don’t worry, I won’t make you meditate…this time. Visualize what you see your highest self as. Here is a guideline for visualizing your best self:
1. Where are you in the world? Do you live by an ocean, are you in South America, do you get to ski every day?
2. What’s your living situation like? Are you close to your family, do you live in a mansion or a cozy cottage in the woods? Do you have a home gym or a sunroom?
3. How are you lookin’? Do you have long sexy hair blowing in the wind or a little belly pooch from the cupcakes your partner makes?
4. The most important part: your beliefs. Your beliefs make up your personality so don’t ask if your future self is kind, patient, and confident. Ask yourself if you believe in being kind to others because it’s something that you value. Ask yourself if you are willing to work on being patient in stressful situations. And ask yourself if you want to feel like a billion bucks every single day. Write down your higher self’s top 10 beliefs.
Now visualize your higher self every morning so that you are energized to become that person throughout the day, emulating what that person would do, feel, act, and say.
3. Become Confident In Yourself
Personally, I enjoy this part. I’m going to provide 3 tricks to grow in self-confidence because to ignore the opinions of others means having the confidence in yourself to do so.
Overcome your fears
This year, I wrote down all of my fears and turned them into something positive. Guess what? I have fewer fears now. I’ve created space in my mind by eliminating negatives about myself. You can start gaining more confidence by pinpointing your biggest fears and reworking them into something less scary, especially by using a motivational motto to regain focus.
Course-correct your bad habits
Turn your bad habits into good ones by acknowledging what they are and coming up with a tool, action, or thought to combat them. Examples:
- Running late = Add 5-10 minutes to every place that you’re about to go to.
- Bored-eating at night = Ask yourself, “Are you actually hungry? Would this food be beneficial to me right now? Do you want to avoid guilt?”
- Hitting the snooze button = You’ve been woken up at this time for a reason so don’t waste the day! Throw the covers off and put your feet on the floor. Start there.
- Being annoyed at someone for no reason = Why on earth am I annoyed at this person? Track down the reason and work on how to stop judging people.
Another amazing source is to use The High 5 Habit by Mel Robbins. She is the wonderful best-selling author, podcaster of the most inspirational podcast of 2022, and voice of personal improvement with a secret to changing your habits that works. Check it out!
Read this book
Jen Sincero is hilarious, given the title of her book: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life. She puts you on a journey of tough love, laughter, and self-discovery in this incredible book. This is where you get to shift your energy and even get help with your beliefs. She also talks about how to make money using this newfound confidence and I’m sure you’d appreciate her past life in comparison.
Be warned, the curse words are there. And yet so effective…
During the growth of my plant care business, Zen Plant Care, Jen’s book You Are a Badass at Making Money was my bible. It kept me motivated and I loved the exercises she adds.
You will see your potential clearly and your higher self will be closer than you think, making it easy to grow in confidence and ignore people’s opinions.
…
After reading this post and implementing the mental work, give yourself a big fat hug and say “I’m so incredible, I just learned how to ignore people’s opinions!” Of course, practice makes perfect but these 3 steps of self-analysis, goal-setting, and self-confidence will open up your mindset to a whole new world of possibilities. Don’t feel bad for sticking to who you are and avoiding the haters. Maybe you’ll be finding your Zen this weekend, too.
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